Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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