dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
