She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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