Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
