here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
