He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
