brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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