The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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