Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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