Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
