I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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