So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
