I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
