I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
