It's Friday. Sex?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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