i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
