is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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