I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
