wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
