Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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