I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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