he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
