Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This couple is walking their pig around campus
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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