I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
