This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
They have beer where we have blood.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
