I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
