It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
