She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
