The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
