You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
