Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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