Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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