I only kidnapped one of them. chill
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
