yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
At least make sure they are 18
Why
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
