I don't think brook has ever known best
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Im part way to drunk.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
