you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
