dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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