she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
