Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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