I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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