I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
