Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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