yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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