i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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