you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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