We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I deserve this hangover.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
