some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
