I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
