remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
