Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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