So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
