wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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